In her controversial book The Surrendered Wife, author Laura Doyle suggests that one of the ways that women can gain intimacy in their relationships is to surrender control of their finances to their husbands. The book has been called controversial because it seems to read a lot like a guide to what I like to call “Christian submission” where wives are called to submit to their husbands as the “head”.
According to Doyle, a successful author, speaker and business woman, women should let their husbands take charge of handling the finances and women should just state their need and trust their husbands to give them what they need.
Having grown up in a very traditional household, this does not “ruffle my feathers” as much as I imagine it does modern women who believe that an emphasis should always be put on equality when it comes to discussions about men and women. I think that if both the husband and the wife are comfortable with this arrangement, then so be it.
From a Life Balance perspective, I am actually inclined to agree with Doyle because my observation has been that modern women tend to take on too much and overburden and overwhelm themselves unnecessarily. Assuming that a woman is in a healthy and functional marriage with a responsible man, letting him take care of the finances should not be out of the question, as long as she is kept “in the loop” about both long and short term plans and spending.
Being an entrepreneur, I am mindful of how important it is to be able to have some autonomy in both your finances and your business so giving control of your finances over to someone else (even your spouse) may not be very practical if you are a small business owner.
Another point to consider is that, as I have said before, with most things in life and marriage, the answer will not be the same for every couple. It is also important to be aware of strengths and weaknesses of the couple in question. For example, if the wife is skilled in managing money and finances and her husband is less so, it makes sense that she should manage the finances and he should, of course be involved in the decision making aspects of it and be kept “in the loop”, just as his wife would be if he were the one managing the finances.
In conclusion, the answer as to whether or not your man should be “in charge of the finances” is: It depends. Every couple needs to do what works best for them and ultimately leads to peace and harmony in their home.
Nomalanga is a Life Balance Expert. Her speaking and coaching programs help busy women who struggle to balance Marriage, Motherhood and Money-Making™. Nomalanga is an experienced instructor, author and avid blogger.