By Victor Ochieng
When you open your heart for a romantic relationship, especially with someone who you believe loves you very much, everything else appears to matter no more. At the onset, many go into serious spending like they’re digging up money from the ground. In utter recklessness, they visit the best destinations, eat in the best restaurants, and buy the best gifts for each other.
Reality checks in at some point. If you’re not some Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, you better watch out; such a lifestyle is bad for your finances and a likely source of financial troubles in the future. It has the potential of making an initially interesting relationship a boring partnership.
In his book “Loving In The Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem, and Respect,” Alfred Edmond, Jr., together with his wife Zara D. Green, writes about how important it is not to let your romantic relationships get in the way of your financial decisions.
No matter how much in love you are, the responsibility of taking care of your finances remains yours. For better for worse has also become just a normal phrase, which means you cannot lower your financial guard in the name of love. One failed marriage cycle is normally very costly. On average, it sits somewhere around $100,000, and in most cases, it results in starting almost afresh.
Below are some of the things you should never go into because of love:
You cannot change your partner’s financial habits. When people fall in love and feel so strongly connected to each other, many get a false belief that they’ll always sort things together and that the partner will always be ready to compromise. Bad financial habits are, however, difficult to drop. It’s quite a challenge helping someone drop his or her shopping habits, poor credit card habits, and impulse buying. If you want it done right, focus on these before making any serious agreements.
Don’t rush into financial commitments before fully knowing your partner. Some people are so quick to share their financial information with their partners. Some rush into signing lease agreements together, committing to car loans, and shared financial responsibilities. The best thing to do is to first know about your partner; their money strengths and weaknesses and how they’ve been handling their finances.
Is your new found love a partner or an adult parasite? If you’re going into a relationship and you realize that your partner is the kind of a person who expects you to handle all the bills, take care of all daily expenditures and provide them with access to your credit cards, know that you’re going into a relationship with a parasite. Run for your money; that’s someone looking for a mother or a father and not a partner.
When it comes to love and money, protect yourself at all times. It’s good to know that some people are only out to take advantage of others. Aware that many people are weak when it comes to matters of the heart, they’re quick to start relationships, act sweet and then heartbreak you as they make away with your fortune. Like in boxing, money and relationship demand that your guard stays up at all times, lest you get sucked dry. Preparing budgets and sticking to them must always remain your responsibility.