black people and money

Which is Worse: Cheating or Telling a Big Financial Lie?

Which is Worse: Cheating or Telling a Big Financial Lie?

by Dr. Boyce Watkins

Have you ever lied to your spouse about money?  Studies show that about a third of all couples have some source of financial infidelity. Nikiya Spence is a Financial therapist who has a lot to say on the topic.

According to Spence, little white lies are not as bad as the big ones.  The big lies can destroy your relationship and maybe destroy your life.  She says that the loss of trust can cause problems with intimacy, communication and serious disruptions to your well-being.  What Spence appears to be getting to in the video below is that the financial decisions that you make in your relationship can play themselves out in a lot of non-financial ways.   For example, lying to your spouse about money may cause them to not want to sleep with you anymore.

When S. Tia Brown and I discuss Financial Lovemaking, one of the key points that we make is that money and love are deeply connected.  Money may play a role in why someone is attracted to you, or why they treat you in a particular way.  What is also true is that Financial Infidelity can create a great deal of instability in your relationship with other people, so it is important to avoid being deceptive.  I wouldn’t say that another person has a right to know everything about your life, but you have some obligation to be honest about matters that may affect them.

A final point is that some people deceive by omission. You may be giving them the opportunity to do this by not asking the right questions.  A lot of people get over because their partner doesn’t care about how they make their money or what they do with it, as long as there are no serious problem.  But when the nightmares finally do arrive, they realize they should have been more inquisitive.  The video is below:

black people and money

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